Stay Out of the Doghouse

So… Big Mike and I are going to talk about are the differences between men and women from time to time.

“Why?” you may ask.

I tell you, writing a book with a man was a real eye-opener. I can only hope that if you ever get the opportunity to read what we wrote as a joint effort, Veil of Deception, it will greatly enhance your understanding of male-female interactions!

I was going to point up here the likenesses between a man and a woman – the areas where the two can meet in the middle and possibly identify with each other. Instead, I got this funny ad in my Email inbox one day and just had to share. Honestly, I laughed my a$$ off!!!!

Unfortunately, I wasn’t only laughing because I thought it was a funny instance happening to other people; I was laughing (in that pitiful, making fun of yourself sort of way) because I could relate. Honestly. Get this: the second serious boyfriend in my life (one whom I was living with and planning on marrying) for our first Christmas got me as a present….a vacuum cleaner. Really. A Hoover. Upright. Cheapie model. I was the ripe old age of 18. Is this what I had anticipated all year long? A vacuum? Really? Not so much…

For chrissakes, what man out there believes he can get a vacuum for his significant other for Christmas and not end up in the dog house? Or, like the video proclaims about the ‘lifer’, an ab exerciser? If there’s any man out there who would ever consider buying his wife a stomach crunch device cuz she needs it – here’s your sign: S (that’s an “s” for “stupid”, in case you didn’t know).

Now, you may ask, what is an acceptable present for a husband to get his wife or a devoted boyfriend to get please his special gal? The answer: jewelry.

Can’t go wrong there. You really can’t, men. C’mon, think about it. Even if your significant other isn’t really girly like, she can always wear an ID bracelet so’s they know she belongs to should the need arise. And if she’s more Paris Hilton than Jodi Foster, diamonds are always a girl’s best friend. No lie.

So this year, take my advice. Don’t screw up. Stay away from the appliance aisle. Ditto the physical fitness equipment department. Unless you went to end up in hell on earth: the dog house. Think about it.