I read Candi’s “Dog house” and figured equal representation was in order. The other day I get an email from Candi querying, “What in the world can I get my hubby?”. Like a good bud, I suggested what I knew all “real men” would like, a Dremel tool set. Her response, “Great, that’s terrific.” Now notice, she didn’t say, “Don’t be silly, that’s too functional.” Nor did she suggest jewelery for him, or chocolote, nor even one of those special treats we men rarely get behind closed doors, but ALWAYS want. No, she homed in on the functional.

Now why was that acceptable? Two reasons. First, women build the dog house, so they establish the rules. Second, there really is a double standard when it comes to gender. Men are simple to satify, a tool, a pair of gloves, a gift certificate to the rib shack, or as I mentioned before, one of those special bedroom treats woman ration out so rarely.

Women, on the other hand are much more complicated. I don’t remember a gift I got my mate that was every the right one. This will come as a shocker, but we really can’t read your mind. If you want the present of your dreams, put it on a sticky note and place it on his mirror. And its not cause we don’t care or try. Many years ago I went all out. I took two of her friends on two separate occasions to help me select the perfect necklace. Yet she never wears it, and it cost me three months allowance so it wasn’t cheat. Our new rule is, no list, no present.

Yeah, you women are very complicated. Haven’t figured if that’s by design or in the genes, but for some strange reason, we love ya big time anyway

Till next time.

Big Mike

Davisstories.com

So… Big Mike and I are going to talk about are the differences between men and women from time to time.

“Why?” you may ask.

I tell you, writing a book with a man was a real eye-opener. I can only hope that if you ever get the opportunity to read what we wrote as a joint effort, Veil of Deception, it will greatly enhance your understanding of male-female interactions!

I was going to point up here the likenesses between a man and a woman – the areas where the two can meet in the middle and possibly identify with each other. Instead, I got this funny ad in my Email inbox one day and just had to share. Honestly, I laughed my a$$ off!!!!

Unfortunately, I wasn’t only laughing because I thought it was a funny instance happening to other people; I was laughing (in that pitiful, making fun of yourself sort of way) because I could relate. Honestly. Get this: the second serious boyfriend in my life (one whom I was living with and planning on marrying) for our first Christmas got me as a present….a vacuum cleaner. Really. A Hoover. Upright. Cheapie model. I was the ripe old age of 18. Is this what I had anticipated all year long? A vacuum? Really? Not so much…

For chrissakes, what man out there believes he can get a vacuum for his significant other for Christmas and not end up in the dog house? Or, like the video proclaims about the ‘lifer’, an ab exerciser? If there’s any man out there who would ever consider buying his wife a stomach crunch device cuz she needs it – here’s your sign: S (that’s an “s” for “stupid”, in case you didn’t know).

Now, you may ask, what is an acceptable present for a husband to get his wife or a devoted boyfriend to get please his special gal? The answer: jewelry.

Can’t go wrong there. You really can’t, men. C’mon, think about it. Even if your significant other isn’t really girly like, she can always wear an ID bracelet so’s they know she belongs to should the need arise. And if she’s more Paris Hilton than Jodi Foster, diamonds are always a girl’s best friend. No lie.

So this year, take my advice. Don’t screw up. Stay away from the appliance aisle. Ditto the physical fitness equipment department. Unless you went to end up in hell on earth: the dog house. Think about it.