But let me give another angle to my perspective. Its based on a concept in human behavioral studies knew as transcendental analysis. Its a premise that human communication occurs at three levels: Parental, adult, and child. The idea level (Adult) is where two people have a factual exchange. When one of the two sinks into the “child” level, they become aggressive, yelling, angry, frustrated, whiny, just like a child. You can only have factual exchange (which is what you want) at the adult level. The person that continues to exchange at the adult level (e.g. not sinking to aggression, yelling, angry, etc) in most cases will elevate the one at the child level back into the adult mode. They actually conducted experiments in it. The other benefit is that in a professional surrounding, the one that sinks and remains at the child level appears as the child and loses the discussion by default in the eyes or all observers. No need to discuss the “parental” level cause it doesn’t pertain to aggressive behavior.

If you reread my post, you’ll notice that in the example I gave about the jerk at the pentagon, I sank into the child mode and everyone loss, including me. But I do learn, and I always attempt now to remain at the adult (factual level). Like in the example with the woman that was rude and disruptive to me when I was briefing. I maintained my discussion at the adult level, and I won, or at least achieved my goal and gained tremendous respect from those at the briefing.

My take in Candace’s example was that she remained at the adult (professional) level and achieved her goal. My view is she was not aggressive.

Great discussion and thanks for participating.

Big Mike

Michael Davis

Davisstories.com