I had never voiced that trait of the female mind that way, but I had to agree with his observation. I’ve talked to other men who have come to the same conclusion: women have self imposed demons that tug at their spirit, chastise them, make them belittle the wonderful creatures they are. “I’m too fat”, “My fingernails are ugly”, “Was I to slutty last night”, “Was I too reserved”, “Am I a good wife”, “Am I a good mother”, and the list goes on and on. The only voice we guys have is “Is my little buddy sufficient to please her”, and “Did I last long enough”, (you’ll notice they’re both sexual demons, but what would you expect from rutting animals). Everything else, we give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, except if we lose our job or the woman we love, then we beat ourselves up like crazy.

I’m not sure why the difference exists, but it does. Read the magazines tuned to the ladies, or watch the shows like Oprah, Dr. Phil, etc. Many of the topics they discuss deal with the voices that haunt women. In our novel Veil of Deception, I actually had the hero struggling to understand this pain women endure and try to help the heroine stop whacking herself. This is not in anyway a dig on women, just the contrary. I came to the recognition of this reality late in my marriage (about ten years ago) and decided to do everything I could to help the woman I love vanquish her hovering demons. Several times a day, I tell my mate how much I love her, how damn good she looks, how her butt turns me on, what a great job she did or whatever, and the truth is, all those statements are true, but women need to hear them. Now, I don’t do this in the hopes of getting a little more lovin’ (wouldn’t work anyway). I do it, and have mentored my son’s to follow suit, in order to help my wife, my grand daughter, my sister, all the terrific ladies I care about to understand what a gift they are too us men.

I’m not sure why all those voices exist; maybe its upbringing, perhaps hormones, perhaps because of past years of struggling for equality. What ever the cause, I believe as men we have to recognize its not an attempt on our ladies part to confuse us or drive us nuts. It’s just another reason we have to love them all the more and help swat away those demons when ever we can.

See ya soon

Michael Davis (Davisstories.com)

Author of the year, 2008

He made me realize just how different our minds think, and the difference in our writing styles.

I sent out a blanket email asking for help with a tag line for my next Champagne Books release in October, FULL THROTTLE. I included a blurb about the book to give everyone an idea of what it is about:

Samantha Roberts partners with her cousin to run Dr. Doug’s Mobile Dyno, a motorcycle testing and performance tuning business. Spurned by an ex-fiancée and resolved to taking care of her aging father and his medical problems, romance is the last thing she’s looking for while expanding her business is at the top of her priorities list.

Along comes opportunity in the form of Linc Montgomery, a tough, business-savvy, ex-Harley racer and new owner of Full Throttle Custom Cycles in Phoenix. Linc is used to having gorgeous women fall at his feet. When he meets Samantha and agrees to contract her dyno services, he quickly realizes she isn’t one of those brainless bimbos he normally dates before carelessly tossing aside.

The challenge is on for Linc as he sets out to seduce Samantha just to prove he can. However, he doesn’t plan on the interference of his ex-wife and her ex-fiancée – both of whom serve to make him realize that along the way, his ‘love her and leave her’ seduction scheme causes him to fall head over heels in love. But it isn’t so easy to convince Samantha she belongs to him.

Now, Big Mike thought this was just a terrible blurb. However, he writes suspense novels, not light romances like this is supposed to be. He wanted to hear something about the heroine’s inner demons and how the hero would slay her dragons. Yes, Samantha’s got some inner demons, but that’s not the focus of this book other than how it relates to her sex and love life!

His suggestions were very apropos for his books, but not for this one. And it also made me realize that since I am targeting purely female readers, they are looking for something in a contemporary romance that is far different from what a male reader would look for to pick out a suspense novel. My women beta testers loved the blurb and the whole idea of the book; men not so much.

Anyway, I’ve added one more sentence to the top of the blurb: “Phoenix is hot, but the bikers are even hotter”. And so far it looks like the tag line is going to be something along the lines of “A sexy romp of full throttle seduction leading to slow burning love” or “When Linc embarks on a full throttle seduction of Samantha, the last thing he expects is love to throw a wrench in the works “. I’m still working on it, though. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!

I have never learned more about gender differences before embarking upon this adventure of writing a collaborative novel with Big Mike.

Probably the oddest thing I’ve noticed along the way is that he is way more mushy than I am. Yeah, he’s a big guy – and I can attest to this as I have met him in person. Totally analytical, or so one would think. Left brain, type A personality. Logical. Empirical. Scientific. Understands processes on a level way beyond my comprehension or way of thinking.

Yet, this big, analytical guy is a just a soft marshmallow inside.

There were many scenes in our book which we disagreed on. And the biggest factor involved? Big Mike wanted the heroine to show more emotion, to be more vulnerable, more needy. I, on the other hand, wanted her to be more aggressive. In my mind, Danielle has no need of a man. She is self-sufficient. Yet according to the other half of my writing team, she should be needy. This goes against everything I’ve ever thought I knew about the opposite sex. After all, don’t most men run when faced with a needy female?

In retrospect I believe that we, as authors, place many of our own personality traits on the characters we create. So, for the two of us, that means Big Mike is way more emotional than me and that I am way more aggressive than he is used to. It’s funny, but we appear to have challenged the ‘normal’ gender roles. The big guy is all soft inside and the little woman is tough as nails.

Who’da thunk it?

It’s worth exploring in more depth, and I will do so in future posts.

But when it comes to romance, I’m a softy, at least on the inside. I actually believe there are a lot of guys like me out there that think about romance in a positive light. Sure, we’re visual to the max. Show us curves, let the natural fragrance of a woman float by, let a soft set of fingers touch our arm, and we turn to jelly. And that’s the way the real big guy upstairs intended it to be so that women (the smaller of the species) would have control over the physically stronger male. And you do control us. Oh I know you don’t like to admit it, but imagine this. Men are driven by sex. We think about it constantly. Oh, women like it, but they don’t crave it all the time. With men it’s a hunger that runs through our mind dozens of times a day. With women, it’s a piece of hard rock candy (notice I didn’t say chocolate). They like it, but they don’t go around thinking, “Feed me, feed me.” That makes women the key masters to the gate way to pleasure. And us guys accept our position without reservation, we just wish you weren’t so stingy with the key.

That’s not to say I don’t have juicy thoughts, or get energetic behind closed doors, but I admire another dimension of the female mystic. I’m talking about that part I’ll never understand, that confuses the hell out of me, but makes me always feel warm inside when I’m around a feminine woman. Notice I said feminine woman. Unfortunately something has happened in out society to push both men and women apart. The media fosters an image of women that mirrors masculine characterizes (Two legislators come to mind). And some women just don’t give off a caring positive vibe that they actually like men. That’s why I adore those ladies that do exhibit natural feminine characteristics, and that are happy when they’re near you just because you’re a man.

That’s why I started writing novels with a romantic core. I figured in my make believe world, men and women would actually long for each other; not just for the physical, but that indefinable connection that exists between the masculine and feminine spheres of life. It’s what got us here as a species. I’m referring to that bond from which we gain emotional energy, and that makes many of us willing to trade our life for the opportunity to protect our soul mate. Over the next year I’ll share how I represent in my stories the relationships that many of us (men and woman) miss in modern life.  Remember they’ll be one man’s views of a time gone by, but it’s what I believe, what I experience with my soul mate, and what I pray for my kids and grand daughter.

Till next time, have a good one.